shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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