C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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