Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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