Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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