the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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