Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
