Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
