The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
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Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
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sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.