..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
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He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
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Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.