Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before

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  (404): i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before http://tfl.nu/o5nm
  Replies (29) Good night (4641) Bad night (1021)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.

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  (859): Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time. http://tfl.nu/xhpk
  Replies (45) Good night (834) Bad night (2324)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.

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  (937): Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in. http://tfl.nu/kwq2
  Replies (24) Good night (3444) Bad night (621)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

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  (785): it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string.. http://tfl.nu/4pq8
  Replies (28) Good night (643) Bad night (7202)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.

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  (603): i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm. http://tfl.nu/ifvp
  Replies (121) Good night (776) Bad night (4618)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea

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  (937): Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea http://tfl.nu/o6ch
  Replies (28) Good night (1259) Bad night (3825)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms

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  (804): he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms http://tfl.nu/3xwg
  Replies (2) Good night (3467) Bad night (864)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.

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  (713): screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude. http://tfl.nu/sk5p
  Replies (4) Good night (1633) Bad night (1408)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.

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  (724): Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies. http://tfl.nu/sr2h
  Replies (17) Good night (2719) Bad night (512)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Anderson Cooper just came out.

  (212): View more from New York

  Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.

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  (917): Anderson Cooper just came out. (212): Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor. http://tfl.nu/cxy2
  Replies (5) Good night (1512) Bad night (872)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer

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  (306): All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer http://tfl.nu/jur4
  Replies (1) Good night (543) Bad night (407)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  great clearly means different things to us

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  (919): The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories (1-919): Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences (919): great clearly means different things to us http://tfl.nu/ha8x
  Replies (2) Good night (708) Bad night (252)
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  (650): View more from California

  I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet

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  (650): I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet http://tfl.nu/2n36
  Replies (3) Good night (531) Bad night (238)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.

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  (501): Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point. http://tfl.nu/0fss
  Replies (5) Good night (414) Bad night (207)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling

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  (843): Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling http://tfl.nu/p0kx
  Replies (6) Good night (236) Bad night (550)

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