It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
