i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
