i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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