good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
