don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
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I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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