Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
