I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
