Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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