now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
