3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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