Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
