It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
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