tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
