am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
