wrigley field is MILF paradise
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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