I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i think i just lost a toe
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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