420 ftw
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
