I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
