I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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