we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
