Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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