would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
