i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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