Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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