Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
