We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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