Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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