the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize