Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
