You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
whose parrot is this?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
