i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
ok first of all what the fuck
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
