That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
This girl is more easily done than said...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
