You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
