Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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