4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
