i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
