I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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