dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
