somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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