6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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