I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
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I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
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I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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