In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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