Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
