the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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