I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
