that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
