So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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