he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
