just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
