the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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