He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
