he wants to bone in the snuggie
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Randomize
