Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
